Finding your the decisive leader within

What if there was a way to develop the type confidence needed to be a decisive leader? What would you do if you could use all of your existing pessimistic self-talk that constantly challenges your authority? Ok, you’ve heard this before, but how do you find out what would really get you to that massive breakthrough?

How would you know what offering would develop the skill you need to be that success leader? Who can you trust to turn around your mess into a message, turn it from running the internal sabotaging conversation to use the question ‘am I entitled to do this?’ to your advantage? If you can’t wait any longer in your current state then ask yourself, ‘is it worth my time to Get your ‘Hidden Confidence Code’ session?

How would it be if you could have clarity about questions that continues such as: ‘How do I get over my past?’ ‘I feel stupid!’ ‘What does it mean to be confident?’ ‘Why do I have this feeling all the time?’ ‘I have no self-esteem?’ ‘What is the point of trying when all I feel is anxiety, worry, panic or procrastination?’ ‘How can I stop feeling like a no-body?’ ‘Where can I find support to fill my knowledge gap?’

Barriers to strong confidence

As a woman of faith, identifying the barriers to your success is one of the biggest challenges to restoring your self-esteem. So where do you start?

When you are the one that everyone turns to solve their problems, when you are the one who takes the lead in an emergency or, who executes a plan when action is needed, the question of building self-esteem becomes more urgent. Perhaps you are the one who they all turn to when the impossible needs to be resolved! But you have a secret that steals your strength!

Leadership is easy when you feel confident and competent, but not everyone who becomes a leader gets there with all the necessary training intact.

You may have gained your skills because of necessity, and so jumping in to fill the gap has been a life-long habit. Most of the time you work from the back were no one can see you, however, you cannot remain hidden for long. Inevitably you end up stepping up to be the one who carries the responsibility and that fills you with fear, and it scars you, but why?

How does fear affect success?

When you first move into leadership, or an influential role there are some significant questions that arise. These questions create problems for those who have mainly experienced sever uncertainty and insecurity, but this creates unseen limitations. And, when limitations have formed the greater part of your experience, and are fed by a lack of confidence, your ability to be successful is sabotaged.

What is the route cause of this sabotage? Well, there are other unrealised questions that are only felt as fear. This question, which should lead to self-enquiry to produce confirming evidence, does not emerge. Instead this one leads to circular reasoning and further sabotaging self-talk. This self-talk breaks down self esteem, creates fear, instils a lack of confidence and reduces success?

‘What makes me think I can do this?’

When fears moves through unheard questions, out of control, unfocused thinking brings more outrageous questions to produce unfounded statements which worsen that feeling of inadequacy. Such questions are as follows:

‘Everything feels so hopeless, how do I stop procrastinating!

‘How can I stop feeling like a no-body?’

‘I feel stupid!’

‘What is the point of trying when all I feel is anxiety, worry, panic?’

‘Why am I always so frightened, I have no self-esteem!’

‘What does it even mean to be confident?’

I know that this is not what you want to feel about yourself, but you are afraid to face those questions in case they are speaking the truth! This is how you begin to create your own glass ceilings, and its all because you have never known the truth of who you are! This is where you begin to tell yourself that you will never get that breakthrough, that you will never succeed. And worse, you have begun to believe the lie!

You know that it is important to change now because the challenge of shifting, the destructive thinking, and its long-term expression has negatively affected self-esteem.

Barriers that emerge out of misery!

That feeling of hopelessness that is the constant thought, ‘I can’t do this without someone telling what to do!’ ‘I’m not good enough!’ and ‘nobody cares!’ grows to become a barrier.

However, despite the bundle of delusional thoughts you carry inside there is still a desire to push forward. Occasionally you will make deliberate efforts to push yourself to a feeling of relaxation rather than holding that anxious tension, but your efforts do not change things, the delusions still mount into balls of pain in your back, or head, arms, or legs.

Did you know that the way fear affects your success is through these delusional overwhelming thoughts that you hang on, saying things like, ‘I don’t matter!’ These need to stop! These thoughts are not supporting your intentions to become a more confident leader or influencer! These thoughts merely couple you to feelings that make life seem unfair and unjust.

Other barrier that increase the hurdles to success can lead to the dismantling of your faith. So, at what point do you face the fact that you are falling apart and will fall apart if you do nothing? You are supposed to be a woman of faith, you are meant to be that one who rises above the mountains of your pain! Why is then that this faith is not working to remove the pain, or increase your confidence?

When your feelings are given preference without thought to the mood they create, your behaviour will lead to unrestrained chaos. In chaos you will run away from facing the issues that seem determined to consume you.

Taking responsibility is scary, but running from it it will affect your confidence and scare you even more to destroy your weakened ambition. So, work with me to uncover a few things about these barriers. Let us explore together why fear creates a lack of confidence and affects your success?

How does lack of confidence affect you?

The result of chaos is to reinforce the feeling of failure. Failure then triggers uncertainty, fear of the future and hesitation. Uncertainty instigates insecurity leading to procrastination. Eventually the combination of these emotions produces more emotional pain that in the long run causes loss of control. Your health has becomes compromised!

Now if you are in leadership the initial question ‘how can I be a good leader and manager?’ is the one that challenges any remnant of your self esteem. With this question pounding in your mind you will feel your control ebbing, panic arising and anxiety leaving you displaced.

Whether leading in the workplace, operating as a volunteer, or as an influencer in an informal group, when the internal battle arises a lack of knowledge encourages feelings of guilt, shame, or fault.

The reason you cannot see the cause of your pain will be intrinsic to each individual’s earlier trauma. But, why? Unchecked feeling of powerlessness will cause anyone to isolate through fear and anxiety that is exaggerated beyond your threshold.

Feelings of inadequate, and its long-term expression will negatively affected your self-esteem. You know that it is important to change because the imminent crash and burn looms on the horizon.

Do you know experiences that cause you to struggle with the desire to build confidence comes down to the need for change, but instead because of fear it leads to denial? So, is your resistance destroying your future? That resistance can and will trigger behaviour that attracts experiences of harassment, discrimination, or victimisation.

Feeling the pain of your past very soon leads to burn-out, and that alone should be your signal to find help. If you do not act to clean up your pain your success will evade you!

How to fix a lack of confidence?

Think about it, if you cannot work things out on your own. Are you like most people who ask for opinions from people who are in the same mess how to fix your confidence? You see most people do not like uncertainty, so what do you do? What do you do then, do you avoid taking decisive action?

The pain of fear and the problem that a lack of confidence causes is now clearly known. So when you say, how do I fix my lack of confidence, you are generally saying, ‘how can I be bolder?’ ‘How can I feel more courageous?’ or ‘How do I get past my fear to release my confidence?’ ‘What does confidence even feel like?’

What are the benefits of coaching for confidence?

One of the big benefits to addressing the issue of rebuilding confidence is relief from the struggles you face in relationships. Did you know that research shows that 80% of people who are coached improve their self-confidence! But did you know that is only 5% of the population? Where do you stand? Other benefits also include; reduced struggle to control your finances, while any tasks or projects you plan are executed with confidence. But again, this is only a minority of the population.

The big bonus to fixing a lack of confidence is that your personal or company profile is restored. Your confidence allows you to be seen as a trusted source or resource. Ultimately you move towards success where you can begin to identify and overcome the barriers to your progress and performance.

Confidence can be genuinely improved without using fakery, or mimicry that will leak your secret anxiety. Confidence can chuck the ‘fake it till you make it’ strain.

The truth is, confidence must come from action lead by your faith, and coupled with the lesson hidden in your pain or childhood trauma you become a force to be reckoned with. Coaching helps you to stop the recycling of those triggers that are coded into your stress responses.

Can you imagine what it would feel like to be confident. What would it be like to not panic but be that inner peace? How would it be to feel your courage arising at your command? The question is how willing are you to do the work to develop this skill? Imagine what it would feel like to have people ask for your secrets, or to reveal the mystery to the confident, healthier, and more decisive you.

Let me state here that this is possible! There is hope to change the quality of your life without having to fake it! Being coached with me will allow us to decode the pain that prevents your growth.

An invitation to freedom

Get your ‘Hidden Confidence Code’ session by following this link

• We work together to get a crystal clear vision of the confident leader you want to be and restore the self-esteem that has been missing in your life.
• Uncover the hidden challenges that are sabotaging your efforts to breaking through your emotional pain and the glass ceiling to your success.
• At the end of this call you will leave the session energised, inspired and finally begin to work in your true excellence free from the fear that has stopped you from drawing on the code for success hidden in your emotions

Once you submit your request a schedule will be on its way to your inbox to select a date. You are now on your journey to the new you.