Welcome the super hero?

When we see leaders, we all expect them to be super heroes, but why?

Aren’t leaders mere humans just like us?

So why do we put this heavy expectation of perfection on ourselves when we achieve such illustrious positions.

When we can identify what is broken, we can move forward — What secrets are we burying that keeps us tripping over ourselves when we are in leadership?

The truth is that we are all judgemental, we impose the idea of power and flawless decision making on others. Do we do it because it is a relief to know that someone else can take the strain of responsibility? Do we do it to absolve ourselves from effort, for facing failure, or worse the emotions of shame and guilt.

So, if we want to be free from the strain of making the choices, why do we then pursue the posts or titles for leadership? Nevertheless we rush headlong into the promise of reward. We forget the expectations previously placed on those who had gone before us as we seek the hoped for recognition of our worth.

Well, I think that I have worked it out. We think the higher positions will give us honour, admiration and respect! This belief is fed by fear and thought that this is how we will be free. So, as we search for meaning desperate for the greeting of the promised thrill of recognition we end up holding on to tight.

Resisting the urge not to respond to the immediate shocked response when things do not pan out we run for cover. The truth is we need to face the discomfort of having to perform the miracles of getting each decision right contaminates our well-being with concern and anxiety.

Masking the cracks

Leadership can be challenging when we don't feel prepared — Leadership can be lonely, but when we keep using ‘should’ and ‘ought’ it gets lonelier!

Rather than admit that we are the same flawed characters who judged others with ‘should’ and ‘ought’ we keep try harder to maintain the pretence. If every attempt we make increases the pressure then surely we should notice that it is making life harder. Hiding the strain of avoiding the urge to vent only creates more pressure.

As the leader your efforts end up looking like micro management, but each cosmetic application causes the cracks to grow deeper. Working to avoid the exposure puts us in the default position of procrastinate to avoid the shame of breaking down.

Driven by the fear of exposure our caution levels automatically shift into overdrive. At this point we put on the cap of the hero leader. But we then assume the worse and bring about our own demise through self-imposed penalties.

This level of hyper awareness cause us to judge other, both those above us and those subordinate. This judgement is framed by our perspective and not the actual reality of life. But were you aware that these judgements are always harsher than anything anyone else would naturally apply.

Can a leader cover up their flaws

The longer we avoid admitting to ourselves that we have flaws, the worse the situation becomes for our health. The truth is this, the more tenuous our decision making the worse our performance.

Life becomes harder when we avoid our flaws rather than addressing the course of our problem. We think super heroes don’t have flaws. At this point we have grown blind spots. However, when we are ready for change we can shift into high performance leadership.

Admitting that we are flawed, that we have not matured enough because we invest our time in running for cover. The best way to avoid the cover-up and permanently fill or bridge the gaps. To make this change we will need to access guidance from an external source.

Get your ‘Hidden Confidence Code’ session by following this link